14th
Broken heart, tears and moving on…
After weeks of holding out hope that #8 would come to his senses, I had to accept that would not happen. Last night I decided to write him. In my email I let him know that I enjoyed being with him and really liked him. However, I realized that he did not want to see me anymore. I let him know that I understood but wish he would have let me know. I extended the olive branch to have a friendly cup of coffee. Truthfully, I did not think I would hear from him again (and part of me wished he did not respond). He thanked me for being gracious, apologized for his actions and said he would like the friendly cup of conversation when things settle down. I would like that cup of coffee and conversation but down the road. In order for my heart to heal, it will have to be way down the road. My head and heart are still not in agreement at this point on my feelings for him. As I swell up in tears with a broken heart, I read this quote:
“I’m going to smile and make you think I’m happy, I’m going to laugh, so you don’t see me cry, I’m going to let you go in style, and even if it kills me – I’m going to smile.”—unknown
I will follow this as I am sure I will see him at mass. I decided to be gracious this time. I know in my heart he is not a bad man, he’s just a man. I have running in my head the quote (not sure by who) “when God closes one door he opens another.” I really hope the door opens soon. I have soo much love to give to the right person, one deserving of my love.
To my broken heart: you will hurt a little, cry a little and ponder what could have been. You will listen to some sappy songs and tear up again. It’s ok, it’s just the process of healing. The right one will come along and you will forget the hurt you feel right now because the right one’s love will make you forget.
